did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
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