its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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