We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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