Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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