Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize