You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize