i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
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I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
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I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize