$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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