I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
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My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
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The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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