i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
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is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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