Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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