I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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