We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize