Do you still have your period?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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