Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize