Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize