I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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