we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize