Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
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I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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