so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize