If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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