every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
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I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
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Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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