using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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