dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
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I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
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Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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