it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
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Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
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These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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