his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize