Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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