I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So here I am, sexting at work.
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