He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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