Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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