last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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