it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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