Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
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