Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize