The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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