i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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