the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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