OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize