new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
PANTIES FOUND
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize