Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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