If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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