I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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