I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
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I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
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I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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