The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize