ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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