Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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