you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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