dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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