Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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