ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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