it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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